The Histories by Herodotus - 3 - Travels Through Egypt
Book Two
Quote
"I am going to talk at some length about Egypt, because it has very remarkable features and has produced more monuments which beggar description than anywhere else in the world."
Notes
- Greece was heavily influenced by Egypt, especially in areas such as religious mythology and likely geometry as well. Herodotus says that "the names of almost all the gods came to Greece from Egypt."
- The Egyptian's records of their own history goes back over 340 generations. That's well over 11,000 years of history. (Historians today seem to think this is impossible, but who knows.)
- Herodotus describes how he believes the pyramids were built (apparently it wasn't aliens). He also goes into some detail about the complex labyrinths which were constructed beneath them.
- Mummification is described, including how a hook is passed up through the dead person's nostrils so they can pull out their brains.
- There are other mummification techniques as well for those with less money. One of these involves filling up a syringe with special oils. Then, Herodotus writes, "they insert the syringe into the anus and use a stopper to prevent any backflow from the douche." Eww.
- When a beautiful woman dies, they wait a few days before giving her body to the embalmers. This, apparently, is to stop the embalmers from having sex with her. Also eww.
- The Egyptians were the first (so says Herodotus) to say that a human's soul is immortal, and that when the body dies the soul moves on to another body. They also say that a soul works its way through every type of creature on earth and then finally enters the body of a human being. The whole cycle takes 3000 years.
- When wealthy people threw parties in Egypt, they'd carry a coffin with a lifelike body inside and show it around to their guests saying, "Look on this while you drink, for this will be your lot when you are dead."
Thoughts
This section on the Egyptians is filled with all kinds of interesting trivia, and seemingly has nothing to do with the story of the Greeks or the Persians. Or maybe there will be a connection later, I don't know. Herodotus seems to have wanted to include this section out of sheer fascination for the Egyptians. What is particularly mind-blowing is the Egyptians back then understood their own history as going back over 10,000 years. I really wonder what historians today think about that.
Although, again, Herodotus reminds us that he isn't necessarily responsible for fact-checking everything. As he says (similar to what he's said in earlier sections): "Anyone who finds such things credible can make of these Egyptian stories what he wishes. My job, throughout this account, is simply to record whatever I am told by each of my sources."
There is one other amazing story I want to mention. There was a contest for power in Egypt at the time and one officer, Amasis, who was sent to put down a rebellion decided instead to join it after the rebels said they wanted him to be their king. The actual king heard about this and sent another officer with instructions to bring Amasis back home. The officer went to Amasis and told him the king's command. Then Amasis, "who happened to be on horseback at the time, lifted himself up in the saddle, farted, and told him to take that back to the king." Amazing, also possibly the first ever fart joke recorded in human history.